ZipiZen #1: A Field Guide to Recognizing Your Eggs

Eggs are everywhere you turn this time of year, in all manner of shapes, sizes and colors. We’ve put together a handbook to help you identify and distinguish between some of the more exotic varieties of eggs. (Click the pictures to see their original sources and contexts!)

Deluxe Chocolate Egg
Description: Noted for its authentic crackable shell and chocolate center. Two known species: Ovochoccolatus naturalis and Ovochoccolatus bling.

Vegreville Pysanka Egg
Description: Descendant of the much smaller pysanka, or Ukrainian decorated egg, and the cutting-edge (by 1974 standards) computer-aided geometric models of Ron Resch. Consists of 2,208 equilateral triangles. Commissioned as a tribute to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police of Vegreville, Alberta.

Military Envoy Egg
Description: Always accompanied by a flock of symbiotic Doughboys. Although the Military Envoy Egg is nigh invulnerable around its circumference, predators can easily breach it from above.

Organically Dyed Egg
Description: Easily distinguishable by its unusual coloring, derived from various organic materials such as red cabbage, cherries, onion skins, coffee and green herbs.

Emotional Egg
Description: In contrast to its blank, stoic relatives, the Emotional Egg is capable of a vast expressive range — from sheer terror to absolute panic.

Woolly Egg
Description: Due to its soft, fuzzy exterior, the Woolly Egg is able to withstand falls from even the greatest heights. Enjoys being petted. May smell funny when wet.

Adorable Bento Egg
Description: The Adorable Bento Egg is an expert mimic, able to contort itself into a variety of forms.

Lego Egg
Description: Another master of disguise, the Lego Egg’s unusual camouflage allows it to infiltrate toy boxes and hobby shops; unfortunately, there’s not really much point to it.

Sprouting Egg
Description: A bizarre genetic anomaly, the Sprouting Egg’s shell hosts a variety of grasses and herbs.

Hope you enjoyed ZipiZen! This is the first in what is to be a regular series of theme-based posts that owe a huge inspirational debt to Web Zen. Stay tuned!

UPDATE 4.12.09: If you enjoyed this post, you’ll probably get a kick out of its sequel, A Field Guide to Recognizing Your Eggs, Part II.